Steve Rothwell’s journey through mental health and recovery
Steve Rothwell has spent a lifetime chasing adventure. A writer, engineer, and experimenter, he has explored remote Australian coastlines, paraglided over vast landscapes, and worked as a travel journalist.
But despite his outwardly exciting life, something always felt off. Decades of mental health struggles led Steve to a breaking point in 2023 when he attempted to take his own life. That moment became a turning point, setting Rothwell on a new path dedicated to understanding his mental health and helping others navigate their struggles.
Originally from a coal-mining town in England and not completing school, Rothwell migrated to Australia in 1986, settling in the Atherton Tablelands, 65km southwest of Cairns in Far North Queensland. Beneath the surface, Rothwell was battling a storm he didn’t fully understand. Undiagnosed mental health conditions, including OCD, ASD, ADHD, CPTSD, and Bipolar 2 with major depression and anxiety, shaped his experiences in ways he couldn’t control.
The weight of his struggles kept him from maintaining steady employment, and, at one point in his youth, led him down a dangerous path that resulted in a robbery and a jail sentence in England. Speaking to Jonathan Bedloe and Tynan Narywonczk on the Over the Fence Conversations podcast, Steve described the prison as an “18th-century dungeon,” an ordeal that haunted him for years. His inability to process and move past regret compounded his mental health challenges, making everyday life a battle.
A revelatory experience in mental health treatment
Everything changed in 2023. After his suicide attempt, Rothwell was admitted to a mental health ward for six weeks. There, he encountered people facing similar diagnoses, and for the first time, he felt truly seen. The experience was nothing short of revelatory. He learned about managing intrusive thoughts, practising “thought hygiene,” and, most importantly, speaking openly about his mental health. “The most important thing I do is communicate about mental illness,” he says.
He describes his condition as a constant battle with obsessive thoughts, “a sense of dread and an uncomfortable doubt.” One of his biggest challenges was learning to “turn the tap off” when negative thinking threatened to consume him. Through therapy and self-reflection, he realised that his thinking had been distorted for decades. “Once I could see it all laid out in front of me, I realised this isn’t really a game I can do anything but lose at.” Instead of trying to erase memories or regrets, he learned to separate trauma from past events. “I’ve decoupled the trauma from the event,” he explains. “I’m not going there; I’ve wasted too many years doing this.”
A new chapter: embracing connection and purpose
Now 60 years old, Rothwell sees himself at the beginning of the most meaningful chapter of his life. Instead of dreading getting older, he is channelling his energy into mental health advocacy and support for others facing similar battles. “Doing worthwhile things in the space of mental health is where I see my role going forward,” he says.
One of the most important lessons he took from his time in the mental health ward was the value of connection. “I didn’t want to leave because I knew that I would be out in the community, and I’d run the risk of loneliness.” Living on an acreage in the Atherton Tablelands, he recognises the importance of actively building social networks to maintain his well-being. He has thrown himself into volunteering at the local visitor centre and men’s shed while also joining a shooting club where he appreciates the camaraderie and humour shared among members.
His approach to social connection is rooted in persistence. “Be extraordinarily persistent over a long period of time and your garden of friends and associates will grow,” he advises. He acknowledges that initiating social interactions can be difficult but remains open to possibilities.
A voice for men’s mental health
Rothwell is deeply passionate about reshaping conversations around men’s mental health. He believes men are often taught to suppress emotions, but he challenges this notion. “We’re not given an emotion handbook. Boys and men are told they mustn’t lose their temper. But what about when you lose your mood?”
His journey has given him a unique perspective, and he now uses his experiences to support others. He recognises that mental health support often lacks a practical approach for people dealing with conditions like OCD. “It’s a lived experience thing. You don’t get much help from mental health professionals. It’s hard to move past regret.”
Rothwell says he finds writing “terrifically meaningful” and has put together a trauma recovery timeline workbook. “I see myself at the beginning of the most worthwhile part of my life,” he says. Towards the end of this insightful interview, Rothwell says people are brought to the edge of suicide by the “pain of today and the dread of tomorrow.” At this point, he says, they just want relief and hope. “I would like to bring about relief and hope.”
Listen to the full podcast: Over the Fence with Steve Rothwell
Over the Fence Conversations is an extension of the National Men’s Lived Experience of Suicide Network, facilitated by Roses in the Ocean and the Australian Men’s Health Forum. Its purpose is to bring men who have lived experience of suicide together, offering a safe place to connect and explore how to tackle the high rate of suicide men in Australia.