The power of men's groups from the perspective of a younger male
Think men's groups are for older blokes looking for connection in their 40s, 50s, or 60s plus?
Hayden Esparon, 31, has shattered the stereotype with his frank account of running a men's group in Logan City, south of Brisbane. Hayden is a program coordinator of Great Mates Meet in Slacks Creek, but he needed to take time off when he faced a testicular cancer diagnosis in 2023.
The group helped him get through the ordeal.
Hayden told ABC News the cancer diagnosis had knocked him off his feet. "And even though I facilitate the men's group, I felt like I was benefiting from that mateship, too, during my treatment."
"A few guys shaved their heads in support."
Made up of members with diverse backgrounds, the group gets together each Friday over a free barbecue. "We have some Indigenous members and some Kiwi, Māori and Samoan men. We also accommodate for people with a diverse range of abilities," he reports.
"I looked at it as peer-to-peer support. Ninety per cent is just having a yarn, talking a bit of shit, as guys do. The other 10 per cent might be where guys can pipe up about a family pet passing away, or having marital issues. That's when you see other guys chime in and say 'Been there mate, it's not very easy'.
"Isolation is one of the biggest issues these men describe to me. As the facilitator, I try not to interfere in any other way than just being one of them. But I am there to link them with services and help if they ask for it. Some of these people are homeless or doing it rough."
Hayden encourages younger men to attend but attributes their reticence to believing they have nothing in common with older men.
"The older guys take pleasure in showing younger members the centre and imparting wisdom — especially given they have often been through some of the issues these guys are facing."
Having been through a significant health crisis himself, Hayden says a men's group is a great setting to encourage men to have health checks, and to help them face health-related issues. "I've got a unique perspective now and I'm able to further push the agenda of men's health awareness," he says.
"We also need to look out for each other a lot more. I know that we think of things like maybe pulling your mate up when he says something misogynistic — it's the same sort of thing if you see one of your mates slipping.
"Reach out to them, even just by asking how they are doing; you never know what effect that might have."